The Only Thing Worse Than a Naked Lena Dunham is One Wearing Clothes

The "Girls" Star "works" the red carpet at the 2013 Emmys

The “Girls” Star “works” the red carpet at the 2013 Emmys

So much has been written and said about the creative prowess and fashion freedom of multi-hyphenate power girl Lena Dunham. During her three-year stint as creator, writer, director, actor and executive producer of the HBO hit “Girls” Dunham has gone where no non-prostituting woman has dared to go before.  

Many critics bemoan her nude scenes. I don’t have a problem with that. Nudity is an HBO staple. Besides, Dunham’s aim is true. As a  pudgy, hefty, perhaps better said, fleshy woman of influence, Dunham is right when she says that the purpose of Hannah Horvath’s often zaftig-in-the-raw moments is to help female viewers get over their body hang ups. Recently, The schtick was featured in what will likely become an SNL Classic. 

I’m right out of Botticelli, so personally, I embrace it. I often intentionally go commando in my majority-female household to send a message that I am Who I am thus, Be Who You Be.

Glamour Magazine

Glamour Magazine

Where Dunham, and her character confound me, however, are the clothes. Sure Lena’s scrubbed up right for the covers of Vogue, and Glamour and Marie Claire. Though I suspect that a distant Rolling Stone cover was more her personal style.  There are just times, however, that I cannot help but feel that Hannah Horvath’s millennial narcissism is enhanced by the fact that she regularly rolls through the consignment bin at the 99 Cent Store, and clearly doesn’t care,

Let’s start with the now infamous “Coke Tank,” below. It has a definite seventies-Warhol vibe. Which is fine as Hannah wore it while raving, coked out, at a Factory-like all nighter.  Thus, for artistic purposes only, I’ll let this one slide. P.S.  I can’t show you the whole look because, well, I can’t stand to write the word t-i-t-s.

HBO Pictures

HBO Pictures

Then there was the Romper stage. These items were horrendous in the era they arrived, largely because they were made of a suffocating polyester blend. I look at these and I get a yeast infection. The prints, naturally, speak for themselves. To be fair, the second outfit scored Hannah 48-hours of casual sex with a character played by Patrick Wilson. Perhaps I need to rethink it?

HBO Pictures

HBO Pictures

No.

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And in case I wasn’t convinced…

HBO Pictures

HBO Pictures

Picking on Hannah has become such a cottage industry! Our friends at Hollywood.com established that Season Two deserved special attention.  PortableTV gives us the best–and the worst–of Season Three. 

Fortunately, there’s  method to the madness. Read this interview by “Girls” costume designer Jenn Rogien. Dear Lena and Hannah Horvath, please forgive me for shaming a fellow wonder woman. It’s just my aversion to cheap fabric and awful prints. Also, I confess, everything about “Girls” reminds me of my 20s, when I was so bold, so stupid and  tended to dress rather horribly!

Having said that I don’t understand the times when your red carpet moments are not up to snuff. Are trying to help Lady Gaga lower her game? Let me remind you, THAT is not an easy thing to do!

Roger Kisby/Getty Images

Roger Kisby/Getty Images

Playbuzz suggested earlier this year that this is a problem that actually breaks the fourth wall for all of the cast of “Girls.”  Glamour UK comes to their defense.  There are some good looks there–and you “Girls” are clearly now working with stylists. However, Lena, for me, THIS photo says it all.

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Is there a middle ground where Lena/Hannah and I can meet? Actually, there is. Season 3 introduced a look that for all of us was the perfect way in which Dunham, and thus, Hannah, could be equal parts liberating, hysterical, and mortifying. I not only burst out laughing when I saw this, I breathed a sigh of relief! Thus, on behalf of all pudgy/chubby/hefty girls who refuse to buy the matching $80 sarong, I say: “Thank you, Lena Dunham. Thank you!”

Credit HBO Pictures

Credit HBO Pictures